Microsoft Fails to Heed Important Adage with Word Count Feature, Student Finds As Deadline of 1,000-Word Essay Rapidly Approaches

"It was all I had"

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Tragedy stuck George Baker this morning when he realized, thirty minutes prior to the deadline, that his well- illustrated essay on ‘The Sociological Impact of Communication Technology on Modern Man’ was far, far shorter than Baker had realized.

“I’d finished my essay and was all ready to turn it in, and just thought I’d double check that it was long enough- and the next thing I know, Word Count pulls a fast one and leaves me about… 1,000 words short of what I’d expected,” Baker sobbed into his hands.

The document, abandoned shortly thereafter, remained maximized on Baker’s screen. A single image- an emoticon, smiling gaily- was boldly positioned just below the title, and slightly to the left of a familiar flickering vertical black line.

“It was all I had,” Baker recalled wistfully.

Microsoft representatives have declined comment.